I do not rest in peace

You said you would never leave me,
and you never have.

Every lonely cup of tea
is a stinging reminder of
the empty space beside me
on our too-big bed.
Every empty room
fills me with the lack of you,
your lithe limbs, your gravity, your perfume.
Everything is cold without the heat of your gaze.

What good is my breath, my life?
It is wasteful; I do not know
who to be, if I cannot be your wife.
Truth be told...I do not even know how to be.
What good is anything now,
when you have turned to dust?
The strawberries are bitter, broken is every vow,
and beauty itself has begun to rust.

You said you would never leave me
and you never have...
because I have buried your body in a way
that I cannot bury your memory.

Risky Business

Great love carries great sorrow
upon its back,
When you have everything,
Then, you will find something you lack.
He is gentler than a warm summer breeze,
but remember, you are fragile; easy to crack.
And if the breeze should ever a storm brew,
He could turn your sky from azure to melancholy black.
You are the most beautiful love song,
but melodies end, and stories can fade into a yellowing paperback.
Then how do you preserve your love
like the fragrance of cinnamon on the old spice rack?
Sweet, comforting, warm always,
Never surprising you, never cruelly taking you aback.
"You can't," she said,
She said, "You must trust that love is not a one way track."

Forever

Your unkindness, it has withered me down
into flesh hanging loose
on tired bones.
Bitterness has seeped into the streets of this small town,
into the walls of our home, and into the walls of my heart.

We never buy butter, chocolate and silk,
Instead we carry shopping bags heavy
with regret
and fresh milk
that will go sour, like we did.

The cotton candy words you spun,
Once so sweet,
Have come undone,
and have begun to rot my teeth
and eat at my soul.

I find every slight a mountain
that I am now too weak
to climb.
And my forgiveness is a fountain
that has dried up.

Our bickering is unending,
And I have known not peace
since I have known you.
Our fights are left pending
because I can no more bear the cruel curl of your mouth.

Our breakfast conversations are burned
with your caustic vitriol
Each word
is an effort, twisted and turned,
it is a lump of burning coal.

Yet, I love you
And I do not know
if it is the dint of habit that keeps us together and true
Or if we are meant to be,
destined and forever.